So many Christians are hurting from a broken romance, a lack of romance or a romance with the wrong person. When you are in one of these three situations and life begins to lack genuine purpose and meaning, where is Jesus Christ in this picture? We were all given freedom of imagination, emotion and spirit. Life dreams are images or pictures that people create about how they want their life to be in the future. The conglomerate of hopes, ideals, goals and wishes for your life. Some are rooted in reality-- some in fantasy. Romance is so strong that you can fall in love with the mere "idea" of being in love. That is being captivated more by your state of mind, than the reality of your situation, which is being dominated by the idea of desire. Strong desire is very serious and is certainly nothing to play with, the heart can be killed because of it. For a man to identify himself as a player (of hearts), he is really saying that he knows your feelings are focused on him, and he simply doesn’t care. Even worse, your feelings can be so focused on a person, that your attention is pulled away from God. That is pulling the plug from power. Romance is wonderful if it leads in God’s direction. It is an emotional force that cannot be ignored by those who are involved or want to be. I am very tempted to call it a law, but that cannot be proved. It certainly is influenced by the law of sin. ROM. 7: 23. Lets just call romance a mind set. It is a mental reality that can influence all of the decisions in your life. Romance has a past, present and future, and it can cripple any or all of those time frames in a life. A very precious life given and planned by God to flourish and grow can be crippled, robbed of contentment and left for dead. This mind set can shape you, shock you, it can slay you. It can do some crazy things to your head. Romance can send calm people into a rage, it will cause some to take their own life, and cause others to take the life of another from them. If romance can display such strong affection, such passionate acts of love and hate, can you see the temptation to call it a law?

     Those things of which you are conscious and the way in which you are conscious of them, determine what it is like to be you. If your mind is set on flesh, you are mostly conscious of the body of the person you desire. You can become so conscious of their body, that the way they think means little. This is serious diversion. The way you think is really -you, and your body just carries you around. We should desire the body of our intended mate, but when your consciousness is ruled by your flesh, then skin is making decisions that brain ought to make. What good is it going to do you , if you invite someone into your life who has nice flesh combined with an evil attitude? Why marry a person whose shape, muscle tone and complexion are just right, and their habits are as far left as who knows where? It is DESIRE , ruled by the flesh! How can a spirit led person enjoy a flesh led relationship? That’s about as bad as trying to court the favor of someone by threatening them. When what your eyes see--disconnects your spiritual and common sense, you are being led by the flesh. You can see a loser with a little common sense, but if they have the right combination of flesh, boom!-- next thing you know their a winner! Some of us get such a buzz from romance, we actually believe it will solve all our woes. "If I just had a man it would be all right!" If I had a woman I’d be a better man! Can you see the power of this mind set? You can set yourself on romance and ignore Jesus Christ, that is very serious diversion! When the opposite sex pulls your focus off God, or your physical desire lulls you to sleep spiritually, that is seduction. Now God promises to help us in all situations. HEB 13:5-6. Nothing can be done to us that Christ cannot undo. If romance has locked up your feelings, Jesus can release them. Remember in romance you don’t have to deny your feelings, just don’t become a slave to them. Never let feelings lead your life. Our feelings are real, but they can treat us and others really wicked. JER. 17:9. Emotions are a large part of us. We are perhaps 4/5 emotion and 1/5 thought. We can look to God to invert this equation. When the mind-set of romance has God first, whatever is to happen will be for the good of all involved. When Jesus has preeminence into your personal affairs, when his will is the reason you move left or right, romance is a blessing. If you do your own thing it will most likely become a curse. Look at ROM 8:26-27. The Spirit himself intercedes for us, the Spirit reads our minds, knows our desires--and will help influence our choice--that is part of being led. Now vs.27, God then reads the mind of the Spirit, withdraws that information, then vs. 28, will cause things to come together. This is the formula for romance to succeed. If you take charge of any part of that equation, then you have preeminence and you have fashioned the results. You cannot serve a preeminent being and do your own will. That is a total contradiction of terms. To serve preeminence is to do their will, only one can decide, only one can rule or make the rules. The other is fixed to follow. That’s why you can’t allow flesh to leap into the romance, it is always to satisfy self and seeks to insert control of its own destiny. Flesh can condemn a romance. Flesh can condemn a life! Why? Because it is not subject to preeminence, it does not put God first. ROM 8:7. Flesh seeks its own! 1COR 10:24, mans natural inclination is to preserve himself. Read one description of love, 1COR 13:5, it is not selfish. It is impossible to love God without putting him first in your life. It is not possible to love and be selfish at the same time. That is contradiction, love is by nature out-going concern, selfishness is inward, they pull against each other, they don’t sit on the same shelf. Jesus Christ is the perfect connection between man and woman, don’t let flesh fill the space. The gap between man and woman is designed to be fitted a certain way, it cannot be forced. God has designed some beautiful bodies in humans, romance always has one question in mind, is that the one for me? To seek God’s will in all things is the definition of true self control. The mind set on Christ can do all things. PHIL. 4:13

     Emotional maturity is the ability to postpone gratification. Ask God to help you demonstrate to him that you can restrict yourself. Then you can be able to say greater, but later-to the flesh. Either overcome the desires of the flesh , or they overcome you. When the heart looks to lust, the mind must hold the heart to the intended truth of God. God’s word can stimulate you more profoundly than lust. Romance is future tense. It is a feeling, and we imagine those feelings to be proof of a long lasting love. It can be an impulsive decision made with no regard to the future. At the spur of the moment, immediate gratification is mind. If it feels good -do it. You rush off in a moment when defenses are low or illusions high-- then you wake up days or years later and find yourself sorry for what you’ve gotten into. Many people decide to take things as they come. They may not be sure of what they want to spend their life doing. They search around from one career to another, from one partner to another, thinking if their lucky, they will find what or who they want. Fear tells them not to get trapped in a mode or enslaved trying to live out someonelse’s dream. Men cripple themselves chasing women instead of a career, waking up years later, well into their 40’s, with no skill to support themselves. They resort to all they know to survive, attach themselves to a woman capable of supporting them. This is the birth of the term "player", someone who survives off women without working. Women know what they don’t want but have little left of what they do want. Therefore they learn only how to react, not how to act to satisfy themselves. They either choose from desperate desires, or they stay in neutral, ready for something but not ready to settle for nothing. They fear loosing control, being inadequate, making the wrong choice or being rejected. They count their risks instead of their blessings. This mental maze of loneliness and despair is devoid of joy. This void is a shadow, and it can block God our light. Read EPH. 5:14 awake sleeper, arise from your dead romance, and Christ will shine on you.

     Romance can be cultural, economic or social, you don’t try to fill each one of these spaces with a person. PUT GOD THERE, IN EACH SPACE, only he can correctly fill the space. Don’t frustrate someonelse, trying to make them be God. This being cannot be overshadowed, he is too much. Nothing can replace omnipotence, this is why your romance won’t work. It is yours, you have put flesh where spirit belongs. When you deal with these type of emotions, you pray to accept God’s will and forget your own. If you don’t believe this, then fill the space with your own answer, and pray . Look at PHIL 3:12-14, you forget the past, let Christ handle the pain, and press toward the greatest romance revealed to human kind. JOHN 3:16. Man’s ideal of romance is getting what they want from you. Jesus way is to give you everlasting love. Can there be a greater desire? Who is more passionate than our savior? He will never leave you, never hurt you. We are his favor. He displayed strong affection for us by giving his life for us. Read JOHN 17:24, Christ desires very strongly for us to be with him. For romance to be real let Christ be king of hearts in your life. MATT 6:21. Jealously guard your relationship with him, he will add to you what you need.